Six Things That Completely Changed the Way I Shop
I am and have always been an card-carrying shopaholic. It started with my grandmother, a former fashion model and boutique owner who used to tell me stories of riding the elevator in New York with Betsey Johnson and would dress me in super-chic outfits with a matching hat from a store called “Her Royal Highness.” (You can blame her for my general attitude as a whole. But also, thanks for the fresh ‘fits, Nanny!)
But seriously - even as a kid, I always kept a notebook and it would be filled with shopping lists: Things I wanted for myself from the Delia*s and Alloy catalogs; Things I wanted to buy for friends and family for the holidays, Things I needed for back-to-school, Things I needed for crafts projects and DIY start-up ventures like the Beanie Baby knock-off company my brother and I wanted to start. I would include projected spend and overall budget, so then I could reverse engineer how to make my birthday money and allowance go far. My parents owned a restaurant in Philadelphia that was right next door to an Urban Outfitters, so I used to go “work” there for a couple hours on weekends (or, probably more accurately, get in people’s way) and take my earnings right over to UO to buy up random knick-knacks, slip-dresses, duster sweaters, and once, a bright blue pillow with a pop-art banana on it that I was too young to understand and that totally scandalized my mom.
A breezy skirt-and-peasant-top look for shopping in the flea market in Sicily; Situational dressing styled by my Nanny, pictured here with my brother and me.
Lately, though, my philosophy towards shopping, buying and consumerism has shifted. I’m sick of that entire chunk of my closet that is basically just the stuff I will never, ever wear - because it doesn’t fit, because it doesn’t look good on me, because I have nowhere I could possibly wear that super-specific dress I thought I had to have. I worry about (and feel guilty about) the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. I worry about unsafe factory conditions and people that make dollars a day so that I can have a whole outfit for less than they make in a week. But I can, and have, made a few changes - some intentional, and some not - to shop smarter.
Here are six things that changed the way I shop:
1.) MOVING A FEW TIMES IN A FEW YEARS
In the past five years, I moved a whopping six times - I moved from Boston to Orlando, Orlando to my mom’s house in Philadelphia (just for a couple months - I got divorced…), then into an apartment with a friend, into an apartment with my new partner, into a new apartment with him, and finally, into a house that we bought together. All that packing, hauling, and unpacking really made me take stock of the things I own. I gave away a lot of stuff, sold a couple things, and just generally lost interest in buying more because for a while there, I knew that a few of those places would only be temporary. Now, I am pretty settled. I love my house, and it’s decorated just the way I want it. It’s a big house - larger than we even need - but I don’t want it to be cluttered so with that in mind, there’s just not room for much else. Also, having my own home means that storing stuff at my mom’s house is no longer an option - not for her, anyway! So, before buying something new for the house, for example, I have to ask myself what I’ll plan to do with the thing I already have that this new thing is replacing, and where I’ll be able to put it.
2.) RENT THE RUNWAY
I tried out Rent the Runway Unlimited (here’s my review of RTR Unlimited if you’re curious) and was able to throw some fun pieces into my outfit mix, like some awesome high-end designer pieces (Proenza Schuler, anyone?) and funky, eye-popping items that I never would have thought to buy but always wanted to try out. I’d pick these things out online, wear them to a party, event, or date night, and then…send them back. And, that was honestly enough for me for several of the items. I was glad to have worn them, I loved posting them on the ‘gram, and I wasn’t too torn up when they were no longer in my possession. That made me seriously rethink things I wanted to purchase when I was out shopping. I’d ask myself “Do I really want to own this for life, or do I just want to wear this once?” I don’t know the exact dollar amount that this new philosophy has saved me, but it’s genuinely a lot. It’s much easier to put something back on the rack and say “hey, if you really want it, you can spend $140 on RTR next month and wear that plus a dozen other things.”
Three Floor Dress I rented from RTR (plus a DIY butterfly fascinator I made). I don’t think I would have found a reason to wear this again, quite honestly, so I am glad I didn’t drop $500+ to buy it!
3.) SELLING CLOTHES ON POSHMARK + EBAY
Or, more specifically, not selling them.
What I mean by that is - there are a few things I have that were pretty expensive. I wanted them, I bought them, and then…I didn’t wear them. So, after moving them around with me to various apartments, or just shifting them around in my closet, trying them on once a year to see if I could make use of them, and then deciding it just wasn’t working out, I listed them on Poshmark and Ebay. And…no one bought them. Buying clothes, accessories, jewelry, all that - it’s just like buying a car; once you drive it off the lot the value plummets. Spending $300 on a dress that I would wear once and then maybe sell for $50 just doesn’t seem like a solid plan. I just took two bags of clothing to Green Street, including a Marc Jacobs skirt, All Saints Jeans, a sequin Allen Schwartz skirt with a $265 price tag still on it (to be fair, I didn’t pay full price for it but still - NWT!) and was “offered" $96.60 total for all those things. Now, when I buy something, I think “can I resell this if I wanted to?”
I recently wanted to buy a pair of Krewe sunglasses. But…I already have a pair of Krewe sunglasses. So I told myself that I’ll list that pair on Poshmark, and if and when it sells, I can use that money to buy a new pair. Still waiting, but I do like the option of “trading” and making that money work for me twice. TBA if that first pair ends up selling, though. (If you’re interested, here is the listing: Krewe St. Louis Mirrored Rose Gold Sunglasses )
4.) MARIE KONDO
Full disclosure: I have never watched an episode of this show. BUT, thanks to talking to friends who have and reading a lot about it, I know the basic premise, which is asking of yourself: “Does this [item] bring you joy?” If the answer is no, toss it, donate it, sell it, whatever - just get it out of your life and home.
I don’t need to binge watch the show to be able to ask myself that. I sometimes still have a hard time getting rid of things, but I do weigh the balance “Will this make me happier to keep or unhappier to toss?”
5.) AGE
This is a multi-layer one.
Being older means I have a bit more money than I did in my 20’s. I don’t need to buy cheap clothes from Forever21 (RIP, by the way). I can buy something over $100, which would have been a huge sacrifice in my younger years. So, I end up buying less because I don’t have to replace things that fall apart after one wash, and the clothes I buy that are more expensive are generally better made, better fitting, and more classic than “disposable club wear.”
I also am just a smarter shopper. I now have all of my teens and twenties behind me, and with that, all the experiences of buying something, never wearing it, lugging it around from move to move or from front-of-closet to back-of-closet or to a consignment shop, debating whether to donate it or sell it, and trying to get rid of it. I can now draw on past experiences and ask myself “Last time I bought a dress/shirt/shoes like that, I never wore them, so what makes this time any different?”
6.) “EXPERIENCE CULTURE”
Article after article has posited this: Millenials would rather spend money on experiences than material goods. Frankly, I don’t spend $35 on an exercise class (power to you if you do!) but I do love to travel. I love to go out to eat. I love to randomly go to an ostrich farm in Mallorca or try out falconing an hour away from home. I still love shopping and I love dressing well and having a well-appointed home, but most of the time, I’d rather do those things and go to those places than buy more clothes. Heck, I’d rather wear an outfit twice or ten times and get to do those things! If it’s flexing for the ‘gram you’re worried about, people will be much more impressed by your travels and adventures than they are of you standing around in a chic outfit.
So, I ask myself, “would I rather spend $300 on this dress, or put the money towards a plane ticket?” Usually, it’s the latter.
This was definitely more fun than buying a new fast-fashion outfit..
CHEAT SHEET
Here are a few questions to ask yourself before buying or keeping items:
“Do I already have something similar? What do I plan to do with the thing I already have that this new thing is replacing, and where will I be able to store/sell the old one? Will it take considerable effort or cost to dispose of?”
“Do I really want to own this for life, or do I just want to wear this once?
“Can I resell this (without taking a huge loss) if I wanted to?”
“Does this bring me joy?”
“Last time I bought a dress/shirt/shoes like that, I never wore them, so what makes this time any different?”
“Would I rather spend $300 on this dress, or put the money towards a plane ticket?” Or, more simply, “Would I rather have the money?”
