Can't touch this.

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The New J. Crew Intimates Collection Is...Underwhelming.

The New J. Crew Intimates Collection Is...Underwhelming.

J. Crew just released a line of boring bras and "no-one-is-going-to-see-these-anyway" panties. Yawn. Hey, 'Crew: The world does not need another triangle bra, even if it's democratically priced at $32.

Blazers, jeans, and preppy must-haves? J. Crew's your go-to. But forgettable lingerie that I can promise you will end up in the back left corner of your bra drawer within two week? Why not just wait until you have not only the price point but also the design and tailoring that will make the line stand out, instead of this snoozefest?

It's my opinion that if you're going to do something, do it well or don't do it at all. The line totally reads like J.Crew's directors had a meeting, decided they needed lingerie, and gave themselves six days to come up with an entire line without hiring a lingerie designer or switching factories to work with people who specialize in making bras and panties. In other words, it looks like they googled "easy, DIY lingerie you can make at home," downloaded a template, hired a white girl to look reasonably good in it, and announced a new intimates line.

By way of example, here are some snaps of the collection. I hope you have coffee and a shot of adrenaline handy in case you involuntarily fall asleep:

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Here's the slightly spicier selection, for the gal that loves leopard print but hates WWCC (Walking While C-Cup).

Not surprisingly, the underwire bras only go up to a 36D, while the barrettes go up to an adorably lowercase "xx-large"

The pajamas are super cute. Perhaps they should have skipped the skivvies and gone straight to sleepwear.

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Lingerie is having a major moment right now. There have never been as many amazing indie brands on the market that are (successfully) doing what mall-rat brands like Victoria's Secret have failed to do - chiefly, cater to people other than thin white model-types.

With a long history of brand collabs under J.Crew's Italian Leather belts, there could have really been something here if they had partnered with a brand that prioritizes not only construction, but inclusiveness. Because honestly - aside from promo images for the new lingerie line that only feature (spoiler alert) a thin white woman, items like triangle bras and thin, mesh bras are less likely to service fuller figured women thanks to the complete lack of support they offer.

Take lines like ThirdLove, which proudly showcases models of every skin color and shape (including pregnant), while still slinging incredibly well-made, thoughtfully constructed bras at a low price point (although they can still stand to work on adding more sizes - the cute stuff only goes up to 34F or 40C), or Liberté NY, which has an Instagram account that shines a beautiful light on stretch marks and vitiligo (and goes up to 38G).

I say J. Crew goes back to the drawing room and comes back to us when they have something a little more exciting, and a lot more inclusive, and totally worthy of 2018's army of woke women who are expecting more and better from politicians, celebrities, and brands.

We’ll​ ​Always​ ​Have​ ​Memphis - Artist Nathalie du Pasquier in Afternyne Magazine

We’ll​ ​Always​ ​Have​ ​Memphis - Artist Nathalie du Pasquier in Afternyne Magazine

Quick Pics 002: Clinique Lid Pop

Quick Pics 002: Clinique Lid Pop